September 25, 2019

Ecce Novissima Hominis

As you know, Wednesday means another steaming pile of shit from Steven Chung.  I haven't written about his work in some time, but today's article is a perfect example of why Mr. Chung is the most despicable man.  He that is no longer to despise himself.  Let's have a look, shall we?

Apparently Mr. Chung is having a midlife crisis.

"Sometime this month, I will be 43 years old. Some people and some studies say that the next decade should be the prime years of my life. Conversely, others say that life starts to go downhill.
So who is correct?
First, holy shit, from his picture I would have guessed that he was already mid 5o's.  I don't think there's any question that he's been on the downhill side of life for some time.  Also, who are these people he's talking about?  
Some would say that speculating about when a person is in his "prime" is a fool's errand because such a thing is highly subjective and is, in the end, is nothing but an artificial construct.  But don't worry, Mr. Chung will explain why it's important.
 But even if it is just an educated guess, it is important to know one’s prime years because it can affect important life choices. It can influence their decision to change careers, relocate, start a family (or not), or in some cases, retire. This can also affect their risk tolerance — like climbing Mount Everest or starting a business. Many may change (or solidify) their views on social issues. 
What the fuck is he talking about?  Who the hell would frame important life decisions in this way?  It's not like someone thinks "I just entered the prime of my life, time to joint the NRA."    WHO WOULD HIRE THIS MAN AS AN ATTORNEY?  He has no critical reasoning skills.
Now onto the hard hitting statistical analysis regarding when a person can be said to be physically in his or her prime.
 According to numerous studies and internet articles, our bodies are at their peak performance between our early twenties and late thirties. Afterwards, muscle mass and metabolism starts to decline. Memory and cognition also begin to deteriorate. 
Even when he's making shit up, it's completely useless.  He gives a window of 20 years that most people can be said to be in their physical prime.  That's fucking great.  Why did he even bother saying anything?
As far as careers are concerned, that would depend on many things including unpredictable factors like the economy. In terms of job prospects, attorneys are generally the most employable between their fifth and tenth years of practice. During these years, they will have the most options and are more likely to be invited for interviews. This is because they are perceived to be coachable, their salary expectations are manageable, and they are most likely to be a “culture fit.” 
Who knows if this is true regarding when an attorney is most employable, since I don't believe for a second he actually consulted any sources regarding this statement.  Also, it never ceases to amaze me how Mr. Chung doesn't understand how the business of law actually works.  The fact that someone has the best opportunities to lateral between their 5th and 10th years of practice doesn't mean that he or she is in their prime.  In a lot of cases, the more successful an attorney becomes, the harder it is for him or her to move.
So generally, for the traditional law school graduates who are in their mid-twenties, they are likely to be in their primes physically and professionally in their early thirties. It won’t happen to everyone but if you are there and you have options, there’s not much more for me to say other than enjoy it and take advantage of all of the opportunities you get.
For the rest of us, how do we know when we are in our prime? There are two ways to tell. One way is when we believe we are in our prime based on our current experiences. This could be because our lives have improved physically, financially, and socially compared to the past and continue to get better. The other way is retroactively in our deathbeds when we reflect on the best days of our lives. 
Who the fuck is he talking about when he says "the rest of us?"  Also, if there is no way of knowing when you're in your prime, why bother writing an article about it?  
Keep in mind that your prime will come at your own time. In the meantime, you’ll have to cope, improve, and persevere. The statistics I mentioned above are just numbers based on averages. People who have good genetics or maintain a consistently healthy lifestyle can delay the physical and mental decline. Those who don’t take care of themselves are likely to have physical problems earlier. 
What fucking statistics is he talking about?  He only made a vague reference to "studies" and I'm 100% sure he made that up.
He's not done giving insightful advice regarding the business of law.
Careerwise, people who have substantial books of businesses or are good salespeople will always be welcome at a firm, regardless of their age. The rest will have to sell themselves, either through their educational pedigree, their past experience, or their proven expertise in a lucrative specialty.
Once again, no clue as to how this all works.  Typically, the lawyers with books of business are the ones who have an educational pedigree, great experience and/or proven expertise in a lucrative specialty  He loves to fucking pretend that he's slaving away making nothing while these lucky rainmaker lawyers had huge books of business fall into their laps purely on accident.  His attitude is insulting to those of us who bust our asses to bring the work in.  
Finally, Mr. Chung leaves us with a message of hope.
As I enter middle age, I am not sure whether I am in my prime. According to societal expectations, I should be married with 2.3 kids, own a house with a white picket fence, have paid off my student loans, and have saved up for retirement. Some I have accomplished, others I have not. But one thing’s for sure, my life isn’t going downhill anytime soon.
I think the last sentence is true, but because Mr. Chung has no more hill to go down.  If he ever had a prime, it was a very long time ago.  This entire article was incredibly pathetic.
Let's summarize:
1. Mr. Chung can't explain why determining whether you are in your prime is important.
2. Mr. Chung can't explain how to determine whether you're in your prime.
3. Mr. Chung doesn't understand what statistics are.
4. Mr. Chung is a sad, lonely and unemployable man.
Ladies and gentlemen, behold the Last Man.

  

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