August 31, 2020

CC News Roundup--End of Summer Edition!

 

Below are recent news stories the mainstream media somehow overlooked:

Mari Dupont's Salary Restored to Pre-Covid Level: Local Bartenders Rejoice! 
 (Source: my latest bank statement)

David Lat Returns to Equinox on East 61st Street for Ballet Classes; Sucks Up to Instructor (Source: Instagram @davidbenjaminlat)

Every Single Law Firm in Los Angeles Got a PPP Loan (Source: the downloadable Excel file on the SBA website which I've been scrolling thru for the past 3 hours.

August 20, 2020

Sign Up Now!

 To hear about how origination credit is racist (courtesy of the NYC Bar).  


Description: 
Origination credit sharing is one of the most difficult things to talk about for anyone, in particular for women and diverse partners, who tend to be more junior and inexperienced in asking for what they deserve. Law firm culture heavily weighs origination credits (billing attorney credits) when making compensation decisions,  rewarding those partners who are able to succeed at client generation and client retention.  This system encourages hoarding of these credits and disproportionately impacts the diverse population at firms.  We will discuss the complications with the current system, and explore how firms are moving forward with a fairer system that rewards collaboration, client assignments or  does away with credits all together.  We will also hear from the client side of the Bar, as the panel will include a Diversity and Inclusion professional and a General Counsel, who will discuss what they are doing to help firms improve.  Please join us for this discussion and great panel of thought leaders on this topic.  


https://services.nycbar.org/EventDetail?EventKey=DIVOCT2020&WebsiteKey=f71e12f3-524e-4f8c-a5f7-0d16ce7b3314


August 17, 2020

NOW That's Funny!

I can proudly say that I NEVER liked this woman, primarily because of all the times she dicked around with pretending to hold the football for Charlie Brown. But it turns out she may have been up to far worse, as the de facto Karen of NOW.

How is it that this all could have gone unreported for so long? Others must be complicit. We need names!!

Time's up, NOW. We demand action, NOW. Get off your racist asses, NOW (I'm going to have so much fun with this, I may never stop).

 https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/now-president-steps-down-after-racism-allegations/ar-BB182AZi?ocid=Peregrine

August 11, 2020

Hay, Chewed (or, Oh, the Shumanity!!)

It might be said that a freakshow by any name is still a freakshow. For those who have ever wondered at the degree of skill (vel non) shown by Harvard Law grads in their efforts to draft pleadings, consider who it was that taught them.

It may be open to debate whether Professor Bruce Hay still retained a shred of human dignity after the publication of his saga in New York Magazine and The Cut. Apparently, even he came to realize that the stories perhaps did not present him in an entirely favorable light. A less pitiable train wreck of a man might have stopped there, in an effort to cut his losses. But not Hay. Oh Hell no.

In this groveling, prolix (and, of course, pro se) Complaint, Hay boldly tracked down the last vestiges of his professional and social reputation, and beat them to death with his mad drafting skills. Beyond the utter disregard of Fed.R.Civ.P. 8(a) and the embarrassing errors of basic grammar, the substantive allegations of the Complaint tend to undercut its claims. At one point, Hay expressly acknowledges that he has deliberately included some claims despite his knowledge that he allowed the applicable statute of limitations to expire. Because he "had no alternative." Masterful. The simple fact that nobody took away Hay's keyboard and put him in restraints suggests that he has no friends left in this world. His unparalleled marvel of a pleading is likely to make future textbooks as an illustration of a 12(b)(6) ruling, awaiting its moment and pages upon which to be memorialized.

Colleagues, this is what it takes to be a professor of civil procedure at Harvard Law. Look on his works, ye mighty, and despair!

 https://www.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.uscourts.nysd.541599/gov.uscourts.nysd.541599.1.0.pdf

August 7, 2020

How Long Will You Watch a Movie Before Bailing?

 My firm offers a very reasonable (i.e. too reasonable) flat-fee deal for creative people which results in an incredible flood of crap coming in the door for clearance and fair use review.

The documentaries are the worst since anyone with a phone can make one. At least half are unwatchable: hours and hours of nothing really happening,  pockmarked, greasy-haired filmmakers inserting themselves into the doc for no good reason, terrible sound & lighting, cringe-making narration, unidentified talking heads or voices, manic, poorly designed graphics, super depressing topics and/or overly-preachy screeds.

Oh and tons and tons of crying.

My paralegal and I compare notes as to when we'd stop watching if we could. 

She's a martyr and will endure any movie for at least 30 minutes before calling it quits, while I give a film exactly 10 minutes to grab me and if it's a comedy and I dont laugh in those ten minutes, its OVER. 


August 4, 2020

Dismal ABA Treasurer's Report, Highly Summarized

Except for a general acknowledgement that "dues were lower," no details on the success of the "new membership model" were forthcoming. All of the numerical summary slides were generalized to the point that dues were not broken out of lumped operating revenues. It can't be good news. The entire presentation, including all the departing notes of thanks, didn't go 11 minutes. 

Otherwise, revenues overall down almost $30,000,000 from budgeted revenues. Despite managing expenses with nearly $24,000,000 in cuts, the operating deficit through May was over $6,000,000. On the investment side of things, losses through May approximated $5,800,000. Negative change in net assets was around $24,000,000. The association was not able to complete as much grant work as projected, so recognition of grant revenues was reduced. When the Association's pension liability is recalculated at month end, it is likely to increase, due to prevailing low interest rates. 

Note that of the $124,000,000 remaining net assets, about $107,000,000 is held by the sections.

Not much else of interest. The link is here:

Inflammatory Lies, and the Riots Yet to Come

In the last few days, actual practitioners of criminal law have begun to speak out as to the absence of any basis for murder charges in the death of Breonna Taylor. One recent survey of such commentary may be found at this link:


However, many media outlets, including even the Charlotte Observer, continue to publish inaccurate and inflammatory statements that Breonna Taylor was shot to death while sleeping. Many celebrities and athletes, some (such as Simone Biles) expressly relying on the false reports, continue to call for murder charges, no matter what. Protesters have tried to intimidate Kentucky's Attorney General by invading his private property, and an armed militia (albeit clearly incompetent with its weapons) has been marching in Louisville "demanding" that murder charges be filed.

Realistically, the Kentucky Attorney General's office knows enough to know there is not a murder case to be filed. They have had the autopsy and ballistics reports for weeks. They have statements from all the witnesses. They have had the opportunity to evaluate the warrant application for the search of Ms. Taylor's home. They have even had ample time to pull every warrant application ever submitted by that officer to check for any pattern of false statements or abuse. Yet, not only has there been no indication of charges, but there has not even been any internal department discipline against the two officers who most likely killed Ms. Taylor, or the officer who obtained the no-knock search warrant. 

The handwriting is on the wall. It is increasingly obvious that there are not going to be any murder charges, but that Kentucky's Attorney General is simply delaying the public announcement to forestall the orgy of violence, looting and arson that is likely to follow on the streets of Louisville. Unfortunately, this cannot possibly work forever, and the provocateurs and media outlets who continue to stir the pot with inflammatory falsehoods are doing their best to keep the pressure building. It seems inevitable that in some number of weeks or months, the other shoe will drop, and at least Louisville (if not all of the nation's major urban centers) will erupt into another explosion of mob violence.