Avenatti gives spirited opening statement in CA fraud case

 Embattled lawyer Michael Avenatti offered a full-throated self-defense Wednesday during a 35-minute opening statement of the federal criminal fraud trial against the one-time media darling.

"I have pled not guilty for one reason – because I am not guilty," Avenatti told the socially-distanced jury. He portrayed himself as a legal avenger who took on the rich and powerful on behalf of the meek.  

"Let me be clear: no crime was committed by me and I never intended to steal or defraud any client of any money at all," he said.

Avenatti begins CA wire fraud trial representing himself

 Disgraced lawyer Michael Avenatti will defend himself as he faces the second of four federal criminal cases on Wednesday. 

Speaking to Fox News, as he entered the federal courthouse in Santa Ana, California, he explained his decision. 

"I’m pro se because I want the truth to be known," he said. 

The truth may not result in Avenatti’s desired result, though.

EDIT: Apparently, Avenatti's pro se request - origanitating as a spontaneous (appointed defense counsel told Avenatti to shut up) co-counsel request (denied), followed by Avenatti jumping in with both feet. See law dot com Twitter coverage of the hearing.

In Other Legal News, Britney Can Now Choose Her Lawyer. Plus Lawyer Pukes During Tesla Trial

 Re Britney, just when I was editing my resume to reflect my extensive probate experience some weasel name Matt Rosengart of Greenberg Traurig horned in on my client. The nerve.

And in super-embarrassing courtroom news, one of the plaintiff' lawyers puked during the Tesla trial and everyone had to flee the scene. Yuck.  There doesnt seem to be a courtroom sketch but I'll keep looking.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/07/14/arts/music/britney-spears-conservatorship-lawyer.html

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9784395/Tesla-trial-pauses-attorney-plaintiffs-VOMITED-juror-box.html

It’s Been A While

The wheels of justice turn slowly, but they do eventually run you over.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/michael-avenatti-faces-sentencing-for-trying-to-extort-millions-from-nike-11625743801

Bowing and Scraping to the Masters at ABA Journal

Heresy at the ABA Journal. One of their regular columnists wrote this piece in an apparent effort to be helpful to other women in the profession. Similar to a one-time "fashion" column commenting on the "rumpled and haggard" appearance of Hillary Clinton, this apostacy got by the witless ABA Journal editors.

However, it did not escape notice by the official keepers of the keys of ABA dogma. They understand that if there is a problem, it has to be systemic discrimination, and it is not the problem of womyn, but the problem of the profession to adjust as necessary in order to fix it.

Unlike the Hillary Clinton heresy, this column was out there too long to simply depublish it in a quiet but expeditious manner. So, instead, we now have the apologetic "Editor's note" added at the beginning. There is also now a separate, rebuttal piece, condemning the ++ ungood opinions in the disfavored column, signed by all the past ABA Presidents who identify as womyn. (Apparently, the male ABA officers could not see it, or are simply Shitlords who have never shared the organization's "core values," despite their grand pretensions to the contrary).

At some point, some weiner at Glawker apparently attacked this column as well. It remains to be seen whether the heretic columnist will still be "allowed" to write for the spineless, subsapient slugs at ABA Journal, or will have to be voted off the sinking garbage scow after some suitable shaming or burning at the stake.

Here is the piece that was deemed so "offensive" that Refo Wom'n and the rest of the Gang of Ten had to call it out en masse and force the ostensibly independent "editor" to add the disclaimer.

https://www.abajournal.com/columns/article/are-women-lawyers-paying-enough-attention-to-upward-mobility

A New Lawyer Award! Hooray!

I was excited to open my email and find an invitation to pay up for a bullshit trophy (or classy piano-black plaque) celebrating my selection as an "Elite Lawyer."  Boy, this sure looks cool:

Aside from the generic form picture and absence of any mention of in which of my many practice areas I've been recognized as "Elite" (fingers crossed it's Bird Law!), the statement that I've "received this email because [I'm] registered with Elite Lawyer" and a button to unsubscribe crushed my dreams.  I'm afraid this just might be another bullshit vanity scam and I'm just average after all...

That said, Elite Lawyer does have at least a passable website.  As for selection criteria:

The Elite Lawyer Award

Only the most outstanding and experienced attorneys receive the Elite Lawyer award. A prestigious nomination which is presented only to legal professionals who are able to meet or exceed its demanding criteria, it sets these exceptional attorneys apart from their peers and gives consumers added peace of mind when using our directory to search for a top-notch attorney in their area.

The award criterion requires that all attorneys recognized as an Elite Lawyer:

• Hold a membership with a nationally or locally recognized legal association or firm;
• Have attained honors, results, or credentials that indicate a high degree of peer recognition and/or professional competence;
• Have a high level of legal experience;
• Have maintained a clean record; and
• A history of high profile cases or favorable settlements that display a commitment to both the legal profession and their clients.

I did a bit more digging and, eventually, found a physical address for this wonderful organization: 5239 Thatcher Road in Downers Grove, Illinois.  It looks legit:

Ah, the classic business synergy of vanity pay-to-play lawyer awards and home chair lifts.  Go capitalism!  Now, Google does say this picture is from late 2019, so maybe there's a new tenant.

A Google search of the address alone lists a few possible tenants, one of which is OVC Lawyer Marketing, which appears to be an assumed name of OVC, Inc., an Illinois corporation created in 2013 and run by Gregory Wildman.  Another listed tenant is Anderson & Associates, an Illinois family law firm.  And, wouldn't you know it, the managing partner is an Elite Lawyer:

So, this Wildman character is, unsurprisingly, not a lawyer, but a SEO salesman focusing on the legal industry and, his website looks an awful lot like Anderson's...:

So, a SEO salesman operating out of a light industrial unit conveniently located either in or next door to "Elite Lawyers" (and possibly a home chair lift store) in Downers Grove is the newest player in preftigioius legal awards.  

I sent an inquiry with only my (fictitious) name, email address, and phone number for a local fish taco shop asking to become an Elite Lawyer.  I'll keep you all posted on whether Calvin Jurdon gets an invite.

In the meantime, who falls for this shit and isn't it misleading advertising for lawyers to hawk their services based on an award they know is phony?