Iranians Continue to Perish from Drinking Methanol

Even with the international publicity this has received, hundreds of Iranians continue to drink methanol in an attempt to protect themselves from the coronavirus. The technique has proved out only in the sense that the virus cannot infect the dead, who are not breathing. It is ironic that in the moment of crisis, so many have chosen to place their faith in methanol rather than Allah.

Also of interest in the story is the mention of rumors that patients in Scotland were cured by a mixture of whiskey and honey. This is an old, home cough remedy, which sometimes also includes orange juice or lemon water. There is also an Americanized version which uses Kentucky bourbon instead of single-malt Scotch. One of my aunts used to make this for me when I would get bronchitis as a child. Good times. No similarity to drinking methanol or hand sanitizer. None.

I would hope that any colleagues who have friends or family in Iran will take the moment to explain to whomever they know there that the drinking alcohol imbibed by the heathen infidels of Scotland is not methanol, and that people should not under any circumstances drink methanol.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/hundreds-dead-in-iran-after-consuming-methanol-thinking-it-was-coronavirus-protection/ar-BB11NijN?li=BBnbcA1

Has this whole thing made you reconsider where you live?

Being at home for going on 3 weeks, and realizing that even as a litigator 90% of what I do can be done remotely, has me thinking.

Is the commute in to a big city (or god forbid living there) worth it?  If the courts actually invest in technology for remote, and it becomes a fixed cost, is it even worthwhile to live in the state you primarily practiced?  Should you just bite the bullet and move somewhere less populated / with a better quality of life?

Extensive Lat Update Reports "Some Improvement" From Drug Therapy

In this report, Lat's husband notes he is not "out of the woods" yet, but there has been some improvement in both his breathing and oxygen levels. While that may seem limited progress, it strikes me as vastly encouraging in that Lat is improving in the respects reported, and also, has at this point made it past the 14-day to 19-day window after symptom onset in which most fatalities have occurred.

https://www.law.com/newyorklawjournal/2020/03/26/mild-improvements-for-david-lat-but-prognosis-still-uncertain/

Check in.

How's everyone doing?  Just checking in.

Shelter at Home

Here in Dallas we just got the order to stay home except for essential activities.  All businesses were ordered close except for essential businesses.  Fortunately, liquor stores are considered essential businesses.  God bless Texas!

What of Lat??

Has anyone heard an update? After considerable ranting about defects in the coronavirus testing process, Lat seems to have suddenly faded from the news. In the pictures that ran with the coverage of last Tuesday and Wednesday, he was looking none too well, unshaven, and perhaps heavily anesthetized.

Based on the reports and descriptions in his tweets, Lat was still suffering severe symptoms in the 14-19-day progress period that has been associated with significant COVID-19 mortality.

At this juncture, let us be mindful that, although Lat ostracized the Commenteriat, he also, to a considerable degree, helped create it.  In a significant sense, Lat, despite his occasional errors in judgment, is like the estranged, gay, adoptive father of the Commenteriat.

Prayers from here, for his recovery, and I hope that everyone will join in.

Litigation in the Time of Wuhan Coronavirus

The dumbest emergency motion I've ever seen had to do with attorneys fees in a Chapter 11 case. Nobody else thought it was an emergency and everyone was rightly miffed at the moving party (a big bank represented by a big firm).

This here case sets the new standard for nonemergencies.

Link to story:
https://news.bloomberglaw.com/us-law-week/federal-judge-reams-out-plaintiff-in-counterfeit-unicorn-art-case

In a trademark case involving unicorn infringement, the plaintiff sought an emergency hearing and emergency relief from the Court's nonemergency scheduling order. And then more emergency relief.

Not great, Bob.


The judge was not pleased by the phony emergency in the middle of a real one, and so ordered.

Text in tweet below:
https://twitter.com/LawyerCat_/status/1241190229949571072

Belated NALP Data Foreshadows Replay of Unkindest Cuts of All

Back in the great recession, I was reviewing one of those legal magazines that takes about three months to circulate around the office. In it, there was a full-page add by a large insurer, telling institutional investors with subprime CMO portfolios that they could cover that risk via a program offered by the insurer.

The insurer in question was AIG, and by the time the magazine and ad came to my desk, the ad was deeply ironic.

Fast forward. We (and all the mooncalves of the world) are just now favored with NALP's simpleton happy talk about the robust character of 2019 recruiting, and the peachy rate of offers to summer associates.

https://www.nalp.org/uploads/PressReleases/PerspectivesReportpressrel3_18_2020.pdf

Wonderful. So, notwithstanding the red, recessionist spraypaint sayin' it on every wall, this would be a great time for all those kids to rent a pricey urban flat and put money down on a new BMW, right? Right?

Huh. What happened to the "summer associates" who were going to be first-years in 2009? Did something happen? Is B. McLeod somehow the only person who can remember that far back? Massive layoffs? First-years finding their offers "rescinded"? Maybe somebody said something about that stuff in that ABA Peeps Contest that existed in those days.

https://www.abajournal.com/gallery/peeps/196

Oh, yeah. All that stuff that happened. Has BigLaw grown somehow famously kinder and gentler? Does NALP think things are somehow going to be different this time around?

Bend down and grab your your heels, kids. The BigLaw Express is comin' at ya!!

Gavin Newsom Slights California Homeless

Probably just a little bit of completely thoughtless don't-really-give-a-damn-ness on the part of His Nibs, but I am sure he got the stink-eye from tens of thousands of California homeless for his directive to "all Californians" to "stay at home." If a substantial number of them take a break from shitting where they live and eat to go fertilize Newsom's lawn, perhaps that will bring home to him the scope of his monumental faux pas. As a collateral consequence, Newsom should now be eligible to share an urban pandemic planning award with Donald Trump, who has also been known to leave a few holes in his masterful answers to problems more complex than 2 + 2.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/california-governor-issues-statewide-stay-at-home-order-over-coronavirus/ar-BB11r1kg?li=BBnb7Kz

A Brown Ale Worth Trying

While the panicked jostle for toilet paper in the supermarkets, local liquor stores are experiencing a deficit in consumer traffic. The degree to which priorities have been warped by the pandemic is astounding. On the bright side, it has resulted in some price reductions that have been a handsome benefit to the idle beer tourist.

This week, I tried some Maduro Brown Ale, which hails from Cigar City Brewing in Tampa, Florida. Similar to a sweet oatmeal stout, it is described by its creators as a full-bodied, malt-forward ale, boasting notes of semi-sweet chocolate and toffee, and hints of fresh coffee. The flavor derived from the flaked oats they have used in the brewing process is also very much in evidence.

If you can find this brown ale in your local market, I recommend giving it a try. I was particularly fortunate in that I was able to acquire a number of sixpacks, and for only $5.99 each. In normal market conditions, retailers could easily move an ale of this quality for $8.99 a six. I suppose I should be grateful that my toilet-paper-obsessed fellow citizens have brought liquor prices to this difficult pass.