October 30, 2021

LA Biglaw lateral hire’s breathtaking fraud indictment exposed Biglaw blinders when acquiring new business books

 In addition to exposing an LA litigator’s propensity to forge multi-million dollar judgments captioned with lawsuits he was hired to file, but never did, there is this:


The U.S. Attorney’s Office’s recent plea deal with Matthew Charles Elstein offers a window into an elaborate web that one lawsuit calls an indictment of the law firm hiring process and the push for so-called lateral transfers that disregards clear red flags about problem lawyers.

“In this atmosphere, law firms are all too eager to build their book of business,” according to a complaint filed in 2018 against Elstein and his former employers Musick Peeler & Garrett, Selman Breitman and Tressler LLP. “They often fail to conduct the necessary due diligence to protect members of the public who justifiably rely upon the integrity of brand name law firms.”


Read free Law.com article

October 22, 2021

Now svelte Rubino is unrecognizable - except for her awful writing

 


Alas the transformation was only physical.

The foibles of discovery are just the gift that keeps on giving, ya know?

The “foible”? Producing discovery to a document depository in a mass tort case instead of directly to the requesting party. (Yawn.)

Read it if you are having trouble sleeping. 


October 17, 2021

Avenatti lawyers his way out of CA fraud retrial (for now)

 

The retrial of Michael Avenatti [..] has been indefinitely put on hold based on a[] [9th Circuit] argument of double jeopardy.

CBSLA

October 11, 2021

My Firm's New Marketing Horror

 My firm has a small marketing & PR department, which is always trying to justify its existence by overhauling the firm website every three months, in addition to sending out daily press releases that never get picked up ("Our firm proudly supports -[insert name of charity where big client is on the board]- in their quest to end climate change.")

But lately they've been a bit too proactive on the social media front and last week--to everyone's horror-- they crossed that fine line. 
 
Our firm is now going to have an Instagram account.
 
But it gets worse! Not only will the account exist but ALL ASSOCIATES (that means me) will be "featured" on an individual post, stating why we love working at the firm and what we do in our "free time."  
 
Could it get any worse? Good God! What if I dont get ANY likes? Or what if I DO get likes from some unattractive Russian bots looking for a green card marriage?
 
My only comfort is that no one follows a law firm social media account but headhunters, so maybe I'll be safe...but still...

October 5, 2021

Ozark Pride


We‘ll rebuild. You can’t keep Ozarks folks down long. 

—Missouri Hulls, this morning

”Ozarks home where woman was reportedly kept partially nude in cage burns to ground...”

 https://www.kansascity.com/news/local/crime/article254773632.html

September 29, 2021

Fun WSJ Expose on Federal Judges--Texas Judge the Worst of the Bunch

 Per today's Wall Street Journal:
"More than 130 federal judges have violated U.S. law and judicial ethics by overseeing court cases involving companies in which they or their family owned stock.
A 1974 federal law requires judges to disqualify themselves from cases if they, their spouse/children hold a financial interest in a plaintiff or defendant... "

Naturally, Surprisingly the worst offender is from Texas; Judge Rodney Gilstrap , who presides over a small courthouse in Marshall, Texas. Judge Gilstrap has taken on 138 patent cases since 2011 where he or a family member had a financial interest.

The [cornered] Judges offered a variety of explanations for the violations. Some blamed court clerks. Some said their recusal lists had misspellings that foiled the conflict-screening software. Some pointed to trades that resulted in losses.(?)  Several judges stated they misunderstood the law. (heh) 

Responses from the Judges included the following:
"I regret my misunderstanding..."
"I just blew it..."
"I dropped the ball..."
"It is an oversight..."
“I have preferred to stay unknowledgeable about it.”

September 21, 2021

I don't think that word means what GLAWKER thinks it means

 Today's steaming pile of JoePa writing, titled The Gaslighting of Stephen Breyer, is a prime example of two of the things that occur at GLAWKER that really piss me off.

First, they seem to have no idea what the term "gaslighting" means.  Gaslighting is "an increasing frequency of systematically withholding factual information from, and/or providing false information to, the victim-having the gradual effect of making them anxious, confused and less able to trust their own memory and perception."  However, GLAWKER seems to use a far different definition.  Their definition of gaslighting appears to be "when someone we don't like says something that we don't like."

Second, I can't fucking stand seeing people like JoePa and KKRR who have accomplished exactly jack shit in the legal field attacking Supreme Court justices.  Whether you agree with their judicial philosophy or not, every one of them has an impressive list of accomplishments in the legal field.  

Last week when Justices Barrett and Thomas both gave speeches where they stated that Supreme Court justices aren't partisan hacks, the folks at GLAWKER completely lost their shit.  They're still complaining about it this week.  Now JoePa claims that all of this is a sophisticated effort by the conservative justices to gaslight Stephen Breyer, who apparently JoePa views as some sort of Faulkerian idiot manchild.

As Justice Breyer traipses across the media trying to sell his actually pretty terrible book, the slice of America worried about pedestrian concerns like “voting rights” and “women’s autonomy” seems more than a little irate. That an 83-year-old man closing in on 30 years of service on the Supreme Court would refuse to retire to allow his successor to be chosen by a generally centrist president backed by a slim and certainly fleeting Senate majority would push the definition of hubris to new heights had we not just watched an 87-year-old cancer survivor do the exact same thing with tragic results.

Or maybe Breyer does reach a new benchmark of hubris because, unlike Justice Ginsburg, he has the benefit of having watched what happened to her and he still elects to do nothing.

Those two paragraphs are pretty unhinged.  I could do several posts regarding everything that JoePa said.  However, the only thing I'll say about it is that the only hubris that I see is a man(?) who was a failure in the practice of law personally attacking one of the most accomplished jurists of his generation because Breyer doesn't do what JoePa wants.  Here's some reality for you Joe:  Justice Breyer doesn't owe you or any of your buddies in the chattering classes A FUCKING THING.  He can retire whenever the hell he wants.

Of course, it couldn't be as simple as Breyer not being much of a political animal and wanting to retire when he thinks he's ready.  It must be those mean old conservative justices.

How could someone who drapes himself in accolades as a “pragmatist” get so disconnected from reality? It’s a question a lot of folks have asked, but the last couple of weeks may have uncovered an answer. It’s not that he “lives in a bubble,” so much as that bubble is aggressively gaslighting him.

It’s not an accident that as soon as Breyer kicked off his book tour, Justice Amy Coney Barrett publicly declared that the Court is not “a bunch of partisan hacks." That she clumsily did so while standing next to Mitch McConnell instead of waiting for a less comical opportunity is a testament to the fact that no one else is going to give her a speaking engagement. Not wanting to be left out, Justice Thomas told Notre Dame students that he’s shocked and saddened that anyone thinks the Supreme Court might be partisan. He told the audience that, for the justices, “you do your job and you go cry alone.” Astoundingly, not a single person appears to have asked the obvious follow-up: “name one instance in your entire judicial career where you’ve made a decision that made you cry.”

Why are these justices pounding the pavement with this message? Because that’s how you keep scales from leaving a fellow justice’s eyes. Make sure that every day, when he shows up at work with the only other eight people who have his job, he’s seeing that they spent their weekend talking about how brilliant his conclusions are. Breyer’s most cynical coworkers are going to great pains to publicly parrot his rhetoric and he’s just lapping it up.

First, I can't imagine any way that you could call what Barrett and Thomas said "gaslighting."  I think that they do truly believe that they are applying the law in a way that is non-partisan.  People may or may not agree with the way they apply the law, but I've seen them join far more opinions where the outcome wasn't what a "Republican judge" would want than I've seen Kagan or Sotomayor  join opinions where the outcomes are contrary to what the woke crowd would want.  And even Kagan and Sotomayor piss off the progressives from time to time.

Second, it's really amazing what a low opinion JoePa has for Breyer.  JoePa seems to think that Breyer is some sort of simpleton who doesn't understand how the Supreme Court works (after over 30 years there) or how justices are appointed.  Obviously he knows what will happen if he dies or retires and the Democrats don't have the whitehouse and a majority in the Senate.  I think he also knows that bowing to political pressure to resign would set a terrible precedent and weaken the Supreme Court for future generations.  Kudos to him for that.

Finally, and ironically, JoePa's piece of shit article  really illustrates the importance of an independent judiciary.  Folks like JoePa and KKRR want the Supreme Court to be some sort of Guardian Council.  An unelected super-legislature that rights any wrongs (from a progressive perspective only, of course) that may arise through the totally unfair democratic process.  Thankfully our Supreme Court justices seem to view their jobs a little differently.

September 10, 2021

Legal News Roundup! Juicy South Carolina law firm murder-thing, buy Lat's condo and more!

 Is anyone following that juicy Murdaugh law firm story? I wish my firm was this exciting (link below)

The dudes in the Murdaugh family all look like they're made of wax. 

Also Lat is selling his New York condo for $1.5M. Seems low, but it does have a sordid past that no amount of bleach can remove. (ditto link)
 
Finally--one last dig at Lat's newsletter: Here's a recent excerpt--legal journalism doesnt get better than this!

"If Judge Thomas is confirmed, the Ninth Circuit will have two Judge Thomases, the other being Chief Judge Sidney Thomas. It already has two Judge Smiths, Judges Milan Smith and N. Randy Smith. The Ninth also has two Judge Nelsons, Judges Dorothy W. Nelson and Ryan Nelson. (And there was also Judge Thomas G. Nelson, but he passed away in 2011)"


https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/murders-money-and-mystery-swirl-around-prominent-murdaugh-family-in-south-carolina-what-we-know/ar-AAOejJC

https://www.instagram.com/p/CTn_8HxLRTj/

September 2, 2021

Elie Got a Book Deal! Preorder Now!

 The title is  Allow Me to Retort: A Black Guy’s Guide to the Constitution.  

 Release date January 11, 2022.  Here's the synopsis from Amazon:

"The MSNBC commentator and legal editor of The Nation turns his razor-sharp wit (sic) and legal acumen on our founding document and finds it to be . . . well, awfully white.

"Allow Me to Retort is an easily digestible argument primer, offered so that people can tell the Republicans in their own lives why they are wrong. Mystal brings his trademark humor, snark, and legal expertise to topics as crucial to our politics as gerrymandering and voter suppression, the right to privacy and substantive due process"
 
Cant wait for the reviews...wonder if Lat will give him a blurb?

SPEAKING OF... I downloaded a new true crime podcast for my commute called "Tally" -- its about the murder of that Proflaw blogger Dan Markel in Florida. 
 
I was super excited to hear it, but to my horror one of the first voices to appear on Episode One was (God give me strength) DAVID LAT, who apparently wormed his way onto the pod as a commentator. Is there NO escape from Lat on this earth? 
 
Actually the pod is pretty good: here's the link: